I should have cooked, I’m fucking hungry.

Makeup or not, I really like the way I look. I love that I’m comfortable w the way I look without, but also with. I’m very happy about not needing it, unlike some cunts.

Candy is snoring and hogging the bed. Even though she’s tiny and this is a queen sized bed. She’s only 20 lbs, I’m 105. How is it that this adorable piece of fluff is kicking me out of my own bed?

Oh and.. Stupid, ugly, pig nosed bitches never win. :)

Buy journal.

Not an online journal where people judge or run off and tell their friends what they read from here, but a journal that I can hold in my hands and stain with ink. Some things aren’t meant to be shared with anyone but should be kept to yourself because they might hurt someone else. Some things can’t be helped by just talking about it, because most of the time that gets nowhere since no one truly understands. So much piles up all the time and it’s nerve wracking to know that you share your problems with people and whine all the time knowing that they have their own problems to worry about.

I really miss writing, and know that I no longer can write on here, because petty people have ruined the innocence of mine and made it something to watch for to know about the next thing that I’m sad about. Because they’re nosy and can’t move on. This tumblr will be discontinued soon. Congratulations.

Carrying food triplets in Virginia because I’m full as f***. So I’m feeling reminiscent since I can’t do much else than sit on the couch.

Happy thanksgiving, everyone!

As for writing some thoughts because I lacked motivation for a while due to ridiculous stalker fuckery, I just wanna express how grateful I am for who have remained in my life. My family, my friends, and last but not least I have the most amazing boyfriend, who has easily become my best friend, by my side. It’s crazy how many fools from the past have expressed their regret for letting me go, thus making me more appreciative for having someone who knew to keep me from the start.

With this post for those with creepy, watchful eyes.. is a notice that it’s wise you stop trying. Because I gladly announce that I’m at the point of no return and I’m finally done looking.

I can’t believe its been ten years already. I remember it all so clearly still, watching from my window in the 5th grade. When I saw the first plane crash, I remember being overwhelmed with devastation and worry thinking my father was there. Just thinking about it gets me choked up, even though I now know he’s okay and was fortunate enough to not have to work in the twin towers that morning. He was supposed to be there, but instead his coworker needed to switch the schedule with him so he was there the night before and was supposed to work again later that night instead. That man didn’t know it at the time, but he was sacrificing himself and my father got off easy. My father and I don’t always get along, but I love him dearly and I’m so grateful that I was lucky enough to be blessed with the fact that he is still with me. He’s someone who has everyone’s love and affection. He gets along with everyone and everyone always thinks of him. I know that because for every birthday we get phone calls from various family members and friends and for every September 11th anniversary. On this day ten years ago, our answering machine was full. People were leaving condolences for our family, people calling to ask if my father is okay.

My dad was very much okay, doing what he usually does in the morning which is follow the stock market on CNBC. He recalls watching the news that day and seeing the breaking news bit of the first plane hitting the tower. Then, he called my mom to inform her that he would be out of work for a few months. The next plane hits and he called my mom back at work and told her that it was another terrorist attack being carried out on the Twin Towers. She was completely unaware of what was going on without my father keeping her updated because she works at a hospital in Harlem. However, I was watching it myself. I watched kids get pulled out of class. Their parents were there. It was so painful, being put in suspense like that. I kept asking if I could call my mom at work to find out what happened, since cell phones weren’t common yet and I didn’t know my father was home but the teachers told me only kids who were getting calls at school could use the phone. I had to spend another five gruesome hours waiting to get out of school. When I was dismissed, I saw my dad waiting for me at the gate. No words can explain the amount of joy and relief I felt when I first made eye contact with him. Pardon me for sounding dramatic, but although I was lucky I didn’t lose him, I had to deal with the possibility that I did.

I guess I’m writing this to express how lucky I am. I’m watching the September 11 Memorial on tv and I obviously don’t know how these people feel to have lost someone that day, but I can almost relate to them. It’s so sad that there are still some people who haven’t been found to this day. I wish there was something that could be done so that these people have better closure. So many people sacrificed because of some stupid, pissed off sand monkeys. No one should have to suffer like this. Not to take anything away from those in mourning, but I’m thankful for that guy switching with my father because I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if I had lost him.

Rest In Peace.